Wish Upon an Oscar

Although I have yet to engulf myself in full-fledged Oscar blogging, make no mistake that it will be (one of) the primary perspectives of this site. This season, however, is leaving me with a rather murky, putrid taste in my metaphoric mouth, due to numerous dirty tactics and, frankly, janked directions.

I probably would have contributed a little more, but I am ever so (retardedly) fearful of jinxing my ONE Oscar hope for this season: Kathryn Bigelow making history by becoming the first female to win the Best Director Oscar. EVER. Sigh....Screw me over in any other category, but please let that one take place.

I won't be greedy (although her film deserves the main prize as well, but I digress).

Nevertheless, it's always fun to predict. Except, well, I won't. Instead, I'd prefer to share with you how a ballot would look if I were an Academy member. This eschews most "typical 'Oscar films'", in favor of a range of productions, from the obscure indies (The Vicious Kind) to the exceptional mainstream/"popcorn flicks" (Star Trek). I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to critique my list and share your own as well!

BEST PICTURE
(500) Days of Summer
The Class
District 9
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Hurt Locker
Moon
A Serious Man
Star Trek
Up in the Air
The Vicious Kind

BEST DIRECTOR
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Neill Blomkamp, District 9
Laurent Cantet, The Class
Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, A Serious Man
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

BEST ACTOR
Sharlto Copley, District 9
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker
Adam Scott, The Vicious Kind
Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

BEST ACTRESS
Mélanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Maya Rudolph, Away We Go
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
Tilda Swinton, Julia

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Rupert Friend, Chéri
Brian Geraghty, The Hurt Locker
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Anthony Mackie, The Hurt Locker
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Mo'Nique, Precious
Samantha Morton, The Messenger
Paula Patton, Precious
Rosamund Pike, An Education

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Class (François Bégaudeau, Robin Campillo, & Laurent Cantet)
District 9 (Neill Blompkamp & Terri Tatchell)
An Education (Nick Hornby)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (Wes Anderson & Noah Baumbach)
Up in the Air (Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner)

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
(500) Days of Summer (Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber)
The Hurt Locker (Mark Boal)
The Messenger (Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman)
A Serious Man (Ethan Coen & Joel Coen)
The Vicious Kind (Lee Toland Krieger)

So, there you have it. Best Actor was the toughest category; forcing myself to omit Sam Rockwell (Moon), Ben Foster (The Messenger), and even Joseph Gordon-Levitt ((500) Days of Summer) was incredibly tough, but that's why in my own personal awards, I have ten nominees in EVERY category.

Yeah....I'm that dorky.

Eternal Sunshine of the Blogness Mind

Welcome to The ePEZ Dispenser, my new plan to hijack the web. I loved my older blog, The Awards Greenhouse, but it lost momentum AND I felt that the scope of the site was much too narrow. Certain topics would seem quite out of place there, whereas this locale encompasses all aspects of pop culture. Jolly good fun!

What you can expect from this blog is a cacophony of various realms of entertainment that pique my interest, ranging from the oft-twatwafflish Oscar season (I'm somewhat of a prognosticating whore) to the deplorably intriguing karaoke backwash of American Idol (I tend to dig the quirky underdogs, while maintaining "worster" tendencies in my analysis); from the dirge of sifting through various degrees of suck in seeking pleasurable entertainment (films and TV--I can be ruthlessly dismissive) to my constant quest for intriguing but all the while enjoyable audible bliss (British indie music snob, hollaaaaa).

And through it all, I'll generally be as snarky as possible without veering into absurdity. (Irreverence, on the other hand, is a main motivator.) Hopefully, you'll find a fresh perspective and unique takes here, that'll delight you into stopping by frequently. I love comments and feedback, especially if it inspires banter, so by all means, speak up! Even if we spar, it'll usually be in a satirical way. Laughter and jubilance are my Energizer battery. You needn't be intimidated--even if I can be a bit of a cuntflap now and then....

Oh, and the post titles? They will always parody a film, show, song, or perhaps popular idiom of some sort. Hell, wager a guess with each one in the comments section. Just something extra to add a little flavorful glaze to each entry....Oy vey. I hope I don't run the gamut of recognizable options.

Well, with all that said....Let's see if I keep up with this shizzle!